Bewildered self

Every turn of the moon,
a new pain replacing the old
Every time an angel closes his eyes,
a new lost love to mourn
Everytime grandma hangs up her rosary,
There’s a sin to atone for

I’m clowning where I should be crowning
Crying after a boy every season
My heart is full of bursting mends,
Pus and rot flowing over the gaps,
a cycle for everytime the leaves turn green and the rain comes

Baby what’s you afraid of if I’m afraid of nothing
Baby why’s you treading careful where I’ve stomped on eggshells
Baby why’d you let me act like a fool for love
Baby all I want is to not listen to my head and run run run the fields with you

I’m a headcase
Playing sane where I’m going mental
Wheels churning each second each day
Looking for a better way to love
Looking for a purer way to fall
But I’m a madman with the face of an angel

I’m giving you roses even when you love lilies
Roses because they’re a tattoo on my chest,
and I want to suffocate you with them till you love them
I want to suffocate you with me as I am with you
So I gift you roses even though you mercilessly trash them

Sucker for pain that’s why i move closer when you embed the knife
Hungry for your touch so I relish the purple on my face when your fingers squeeze around my neck
Lover of your eyes so I consume myself with their fury

Baby I’m not healthy