Rainy Thoughts

Almost like I stopped trying when you stepped,
became unfeeling because feeling left me hanging
Now I sometimes go to your IG…
sometimes your tiktok finds its way to me,
and I look at your smile,
and how you’ve changed your style…
And I look at where you are,
How expensively they treat you,
How hard you smile,
how beautiful makeup looks on you.
Friday nights then find me in bed,
sobbing away your memory.
Monday I’ll be okay,
until someone tags you on Instagram,
and I just have to see.
I stalk your poems,
waiting to see myself in them…
I stalk myself in your smile,
waiting to prove that I live in you too.
Then I stalk your new style,
and I feel jealous,
I did not make you confident enough to dress like that when you were with me.
It’s a rainy Thursday and so I cry the memory of you away.
Sunday we’ll be with the guys,
so I hope I’ll see you,
and I’ll look at your smile,
and trace the memory of me in your eyes.

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